Meet the Narrator

A very long time ago, a magnificent super computer was created, called Earth, by another, slightly less magnificent, super computer to calculate the meaning of life for troubled, aimless beings that exist throughout the infinitly expanding universe.

Unfortunately, the super computer that designed Earth has become quite depressed herself and has resigned to watching television for the past 4 million years instead of assisting her creators and the universe in understanding the processes occurring in and on Earth.

So, as a last resort, the Bureau of Andromedean Life-Learning Studies (B.A.L-L.S.) has resigned, themselves, to sending one of their own, Copernicus Frekkalbotum, a rather annoying new intern at the B.A.L-L.S., to venture into the computer and determine what, on Earth, has been going on for 4 million years. Frekkalbotum was chosen, in part, because he was the only recruit dumb enough to accept the assignment and because the President of the B.A.L-L.S. simply could not stand to be around someone who still wears a flat cap.

Project lead, Jarvis Z. Orfalspank, often said by his colleagues to resemble the rear end of a 64-year-old hippopotamus with diabetes, is a believer in universal consciousness, in that the universe has divided parts of itself from itself to passenger or "hitchhike" organic beings in an attempt to experience itself because the universe is known to be quite vain. Thus the project received the name "The Hitchhiker's Guide to Peace."

Frekkalbotum has been instructed to report his findings back to the Bureau through videos posted to TikTok and other platforms for safe keeping because the servers at the B.A.L-L.S are simply too small.